Monday 11 May 2020
writing
Writing last week we did our planing and this week we did our draft from last weeks writing and we also are going to our story in a week or two but this is my draft I have done in my writing I am also still adding to it but this is what I have done in the week.
Next time i want to start writing the next book.
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Hey Cayleigh
ReplyDeleteYou story is starting to develop really well, and this draft is looking good. You should be pleased with how it is shaping up. Here are some areas I would like you to look at when you are proofreading your work:
- Be careful what words you use (e.g. you wrote "Then he when do to the house" when I think you meant to say "Then he went to the house"). Try reading your writing out loud and see if it makes sense to you.
- Provide more detail about your main characters in the orientation. I would like to know more about Mark and Carter.
- Provide a bit more at the end of your story. It seems to end quite suddenly.
We will go over these points next week at school when we wrap up this project.
- Mr Mitchell