Monday, 11 May 2020
writing
Writing last week we did our planing and this week we did our draft from last weeks writing and we also are going to our story in a week or two but this is my draft I have done in my writing I am also still adding to it but this is what I have done in the week.
Next time i want to start writing the next book.
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Hey Cayleigh
ReplyDeleteYou story is starting to develop really well, and this draft is looking good. You should be pleased with how it is shaping up. Here are some areas I would like you to look at when you are proofreading your work:
- Be careful what words you use (e.g. you wrote "Then he when do to the house" when I think you meant to say "Then he went to the house"). Try reading your writing out loud and see if it makes sense to you.
- Provide more detail about your main characters in the orientation. I would like to know more about Mark and Carter.
- Provide a bit more at the end of your story. It seems to end quite suddenly.
We will go over these points next week at school when we wrap up this project.
- Mr Mitchell